A Mother and Her Son: Nearly 3 weeks old!!!

Well, Jackson is almost three weeks old. We have survived many nights of little (for Frank) to no (me) sleep. I’ve always known newborns are hard, but didn’t realize it’d be this hard. It was a challenge in the hospital just because Jackson had to me closely monitored due to his breathing problems. It was nice to get home and get adjusted. It’s nice to still be home and know that he is healthy and going to be just fine. He is a spunky little guy who is still very responsive to daddy’s voice and loves to cuddle with his mommy.

It’s so surreal that I am a mother. When my family or friends talk to me about it, it just doesn’t seem real. Even though he is here, and mine. At times I feel like someone is going to come to the door and say ok, I’m here to pick up my son. I’m so very glad that that won’t happen. He is my son, a creation of me and Frank. I love him more than anything. I love his daddy more than anything.

Jackson has the cutest smile with his Grandpa Frank’s dimples. They are amazing!! His smile can make my bad day better; it puts a band aid on the pain of sleepless night. I love the interaction I have with him, as simple and small as it may be, it’s wonderful. He and Frank have a little game they play. They stick their tongues out at each other like snakes. It’s so very cute. I know at times it is very overwhelming for Frank. It’s hard to listen to the cries. Sometimes he cries for something real, a diaper change, a feeding, some attention or just because he is frustrated. Frank often doesn’t handle it well; he has gotten much better, but still struggles with Jackson’s mode of communication.

I know Frank doesn’t feel like it sometimes, but he is such a great dad to Jackson. He loves him regardless of how hard the day has been. He goes back to work on Monday, I feel happy and sad, mostly sad. I’ve enjoyed having him home, but there’s been time’s where I get so upset that he won’t calm down and listen to me that I wish he would just get out of the house and let me take care of things. Now, I understand he has to be involved and I’d love for him to take on more of the diaper changes and bathe’s and such. I know with time he will get more confident and get involved on his own. He has also struggled with bonding. I feel like sometimes I have to ask him to spend time with Jackson. It’s gotten better, and I know I’ve got much more knowledge and experience with babies, he’ll get there with time.

On a completely different note, Jackson and I have an appointment with Social Security on Monday. Since that’s who pays for me to be out of work, I am legally disabled. Jackson is my dependant therefore he qualifies for benefits as well. That in its self is a HUGE relief. So that’s our big thing Monday, then on Thursday since the pediatrician who circumcised him did it wrong, I have the unfortunate task of taking him to get it fixed. When we went for his well baby visit last week the doctor said that in the next few days it should come off and be fine. I told him several times that it has looked exactly the same for at least 5 days. He said he could snip it and be done, but it would make him bleed and he would be uncomfortable. I much rather him do it then and there then now have to take him and get it done on Thursday. The good thing of Thursday’s appointment though is that it is with my old pediatrician who we are going to try and have him take on Jackson to his patient load. It would make my life so much simpler since he has worked with all of my doctors before and breastfeeding I need a good team like I had before.

So this is where Jackson’s at as of his appointment Thursday 10/23/2008:
Length: 21 ¾”
Weight: 7lbs 11oz
He has gained almost 3” of length in 2 weeks. My guess is that he will be as tall as his Uncle David some day.

Well, it’s time for another diaper change and feeding and then off to bed!! I love my boys more than anything on this earth and I’m so BLESSED to have them both here and HEALTHY!!

Hope everyone is doing well and as happy as we are.

The Lucas Family,
Brittany, Frank, and Jackson Robert